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  Ask An Experienced Member :   Abandoned by the girl Add to Favorite

Jeff

Trampas, United States

  Posted: 07 Oct, 2011 07:52:42 Starter

 

I am sitting writing this letter in a hotel room in Kunming, it appears that my girl has abandoned me . I thought we were getting along well, I speak some Chinese, and I have treated her very well. We made plans before I arrived, but after I got there, she kept on changing plans, every day I wait for her in my hotel room, but today, she didn't show up, call or anything,, and we have a flight together tomorrow, I doubt she will show up for it, but I will go to the airport and wait for her anyway. I thought I should let you other members know that if you plan to take a trip to China to see your girl, you should make some alternate plans. I guess I will travel alone from this point on, not exactly what I planned, but I have to realize, this is more or less a blind date, you never know what you will get, so be prepared for anything. You can send and receive all the love letters you want, but reality is much different that the letters, the girl will not be nearly as loving as her letters, that is her bait to get you here, and good luck when you are here, you are in the hands of a total stranger. I will post a follow up in a few days to let you know how this ends up, but I don't think it will be a happy ending.




Rolf

Sterling, United States

  Posted: 08 Oct, 2011 04:59:52 # 1

  Jeff,

My heart goes out to you. I am sure, you will get some more responses, but my initial reaction would be to contact the agency.
In my opinion, they should know.
And might introduce you to other suitable ladies.
Good luck.

Rolf

p.s. mine abandoned me before I flew out. In that sense, I guess I was lucky.


Steven

Torquay, United Kingdom

  Posted: 08 Oct, 2011 08:35:56 # 2

  Jeff, I assume you already spent time together since you arrived in China?

You have to remember that Asian culture is different from Western.
It could be that you have done something in her presence that to her is untoward, but you are not aware of this. Many oriental, particularly Chinese, and especially Japanese, are sensitive and will not tell you if you have upset them. They will just ignore you.

Or it could be she just felt that you are not the one, but afraid to tell you, or just plain discourteous?

Even though one spends time emailing and talking online, it is still akin to a blind date until the actual meeting and spending some quality time together.

But don't worry, just spend your time there with a smile on your face, and appearing presentable, and you are sure to be approached by one or more charming Chinese girls!


Dion

Perth, Australia

  Posted: 09 Oct, 2011 01:12:50 # 3

  Hello Jeff

Sorry to hear that your plans did not work out. Did you contact the dating agency of your lady friend and let them know what had happened? I have read a few reports here, and some have been in the same predicament that you were in, with ladies not showing up. They then made contact with the agency. The agency helped with trying to contact the lady. If it was not good, they may have also assisted with looking at different profiles that you may have been interested in.

I too am planning a trip to Zhuhai, Guangdong province, in November. I am hoping to meet my lady too. Though, I have also got the contact address for Hand in Hand agency, to help assist with my meeting.

Kind regards
Dion


Paul

Fort st John, Canada

  Posted: 09 Oct, 2011 07:18:02 # 4

  hello Dion. I also am going to Zhuhai to meet a lovely lady. but before you, oct 22. for a week. I have talked with several real and non-real ladies and went Guangzhou last may and had a great trip but it did not work out. Oh, the lady was real and a beauty, sweet and very graceful and far prettier than her pics on here just no magic and looking back I think it is better we did not continue. My point here is use your gut feeling and you should be O.K.. i do have the thought what iof she does not show or is not who she says and I guess I will deal with that then. maybe yeah take the contsact info in case but either way I will post an up date and let you know. on the off chance chnlove will post it my e addy is reiter2011@hotmail.ca


Jeff

Trampas, United States

  Posted: 10 Oct, 2011 10:35:24 # 5

  Well, I will continue this story, very interesting. No, I didn't do anything wrong, I know how to be a perfect gentleman , and I have been the whole time with her, I had spent about 5 days with her before she " disappeared". Later that night, I got a phone call from her, she explained that she had to go to the hospital, I will spare those details. She came that evening, she would have called sooner, but she lost the phone number to the hotel I was at and she couldn't find it until she was released from the hospital. It was worth it, what an apology! It is almost a week later, and we are both in love. If this kind of thing happens to you, I would say just hang in there, you never know what will happen, I never expected this to happen, but now I'm glad it happened. I couldn't imagine that she would leave me like that, we were getting along so well. After I wrote the initial letter to the forum, I wrote her using the EMF mail, then a few hours later, I got her phone call.

This little incident caused us to start to trade notes about how this site works. I was kind of angry to hear some of the things that this site does, but it is not the fault of the whole site, it was the particular agency that I think could do better. We found out that the letters I sent were not read to her verbatim, the translator picks what she thinks was important and tells the lady. They try to make the lady look as enticing as possible. The replies are not written by the lady, only her ideas are injected into the letter. I found that before I sent her flowers, she didn't even know who I was. the translator chooses what she thinks is the most sincere letters and send them to the lady. After I sent the flowers, she knew who I was, and she received more information about me. The agency adds their own color to the letters, they want the business of course. We decided that after I return to the USA, we will use email to communicate, there are plenty of translation programs that work fairly well, I like the Lingoes site best, you can choose the translation you think is best.

I would say the site is a scam because of this, one would hope that the letters are given to the lady as written, but they are not, no fair, thats a lot of money to spend. But in the end, I can't call it a scam, after all, I found what I was looking for, and it is worth all the money I spent to find her. My advice is to get her email address as soon as you can, but you probably should send a gift or flowers first so she knows who you are!


Joe

Sumner, United States

  Posted: 11 Oct, 2011 04:53:05 # 6

  Maybe she forgot and had other plans..


Neal

Poole, United Kingdom

  Posted: 11 Oct, 2011 05:07:04 # 7

  well done Jeff


jon

seattle, United States

  Posted: 04 Jul, 2012 21:55:29 # 8

  Nice that you could compare notes about how the agency works, it validates once again what we all know. But that hospital excuse?

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